Trauma Intuitive, Body Whisperer, Reiki Practitioner and CranioSacral Therapist; M.F.A., A.O.C.A., D.E.C.
“Westerners meet up with tragedy, with powers beyond their control, with challenges that present opportunities for growth and transformation. And these challenges must be recognized as initiatory, even though this initiation is disorganized, unpredictable, and informal, unlike the carefully orchestrated initiatory challenges presented to indigenous people. Westerners, like their indigenous counterparts, experience initiation in some form and in a constant manner throughout their life.”
Malidoma Patrice Somé
The Healing Wisdom of Africa: Finding Life Purpose Through Nature, Ritual and Community
As my Reiki and CranioSacral practice evolved and I developed intuitive seeing, hearing, feeling and sensing, I learned to surrender to my innate clairvoyance, clairaudience and clairsentience by which I witness the adversity, shock and trauma imprinted on the different energy fields of my clients’ bodies. In sessions, I activate my intuition in service of the healing power of compassion. The energy I share is fundamentally the gift of loving presence and companionship in a place and time the client had no support. I become both compassionate witness and care giver in situ seeing, hearing, sensing and feeling the intricacies of my clients’ experience at whatever age the adversity, shock, trauma and violence occurred.
Our energy fields, currents, chakras and physical cells are profoundly affected by the negative experiences of our childhoods, adolescences, early adulthoods and so on. Until we learn about their roots and receive energy healing, most of our troubles continue to manifest. The shock, trauma, physical and emotional injuries, sexual abuse, social and cultural programming, limiting belief systems, colonization, misinformation or indoctrination, to name just a few examples, remains imprinted. Every minute detail of our ordeals is indeed etched in our bodies, but thankfully with non-permanent ink.
The human organism is not just a physical structure made of molecules; we are composed of dynamic energy fields that surround and penetrate the material body. The fundamental energy fields are as follows: the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual. The material tissues in our physical bodies are shaped and affected by the imbalances and toxicity in any of our energy fields. In other words, most dis-eases and illnesses are initiated in one of these energy fields and transmitted to our material bodies.
Here is how it works in the context of a session. Initially, I transmit a reminder to the client’s energy fields of their capacity to be in harmony with the earth and Source. Once the client has softened into this fundamental connection, they land in their body in the present moment. Clients surrender to a meditative state; their breathing deepens and their anxiety and distractions melt into the warm embrace of Universal Love. Their core self and inner wisdom come to the foreground, over-riding their every day brain, intellectual brain, monkey brain, worry bunny brain or totally traumatized brain or whatever brain that runs the show.
Once the client has softened into the field of Universal Love and I with them, their self-healing wisdom can reach me and mine, theirs. In other words, we engage in a non-verbal form of communication: we enter into a conversation on the soul level. While the client makes the effort to come in for the session through snow, rain or strained bank accounts, their soul floats in knowing exactly what the next item on their self-healing agenda is. With Universal Love working much like a crystal in a radio, the client’s wisdom speaks up, past the usual static, so that my third eye can receive and interpret the data (the experiences and traumas pertinent to this session).
Victims and Architects of Survival:
In order to heal, the client does not need to remember the traumatic experiences in the conventional sense, but rather must have direct contact with the aspect of themselves that experienced the events. It’s not like seeing a disembodied movie somewhere in their mind’s eye; it’s literally reclaiming a disembodied aspect of self. Thinking of the soul as a bowl helps me describe this healing experience. The soul bowl, so-to-speak, contains the core self or soul in harmony with Universal love. Then shit happens and their little person at age four or whatever, experiencing a jolting charge of adversity, goes into shock and in response to the charge, disembodies or disassociates. In that moment, that hurt four-year-old self jumps out of the bowl but remains attached by a lifeline, much like an astronaut to their spaceship. That particular aspect of their soul fragmented away from the core self is unfortunately then cut off from Universal Love until it is retrieved.
The potency of the adversity determines the distance from the bowl and with it the length of the lifeline. The more intense the charge, the further away that soul fragment is. The distance is greater if they experienced any of the adversity in an altered state of consciousness created by anesthetics, drugs and/or alcohol or if the event itself produced a concussion, loss of consciousness or other altered states. And the lifeline is particularly long if the adversity occurred before verbal skills were developed or in the even more different corporality in the womb.
Regardless of the distance, I essentially go fishing and lovingly connect with the little or not so little astronaut floating out there stuck in their experience of adversity or abuse. These soul fragments have been fixed within the intensity of the experience, right smack in the middle of it, without any sense of it having ended or of my client ever being loved, creating art or whatever joys and personal power they have brought about since then. They have been completely and utterly cut off from the resources my client has now. They are bundles of terror, horror, fear, helplessness, shame and any intense emotion or sensation the experience generated. Whatever is contained in this disembodied time capsule is the unbeneficial energy, like energy cysts, that we strive to release during the session. Together, we integrate the contradiction that in order to release these energies, the client has to welcome that aspect of themselves back into their heart. In other words, it’s by reeling that fragment back in to the heart that the energy is cleared.
To heal is to love those astronauts to bits and welcome them back into the soul bowl where the core self is in alignment with Universal Love. When the client reaches, touches and embraces without judgment or conditions their soul fragments, they break the isolating seal of trauma. By compassionately witnessing their experience, that fragment is no longer alone or trapped in their time capsule of unlove and confusion. The hurt past self can then safely release the anguish, physical pain, sorrow, shame, self-hatred, judgment, fear, rage, terror or whatever, and thus be drawn back into the heart chakra where they are treated to an exquisitely delightful bubble bath or a fabulously cozy bed or whatever is safe and comforting. Infinitely loved and honoured, the soul fragment settles back into the soul bowl full of Universal Love, thereby harmonizing and recalibrating that aspect of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy fields to the vibration of love.
However, before well-being can truly blossom, there is another piece of the puzzle that also has to settle into harmonious vibrations. While a plethora of victimized astronauts float in space, an army of brave, productive, resourceful, determined, dedicated and often angry architects of survival are doing whatever they need to do to survive the adversity. For every victim, there is an architect of survival in high gear. In other kinds of literature, you may have heard these characters spoken of as ‘coping’ or ‘survival mechanisms’ – but that description belies how incredibly clever they really are. These brilliant architects are just as stuck and if anything even more desperate than the victims. For one thing, they’re all exhausted. They’re all hyper-vigilant and have been 24/7 since the threatening and hurtful events occurred and they have been using whatever resources, and I really mean whatever they had available to them, to orchestrate survival: disembody now, forget everything, play dead, pass out, lash out, get really stoned, become a sex-kitten even if it is your father, yell and keep yelling at your mother, do art, run faster, jump higher, keep busy, get better grades, get thinner, keep improving yourself, fuck as much as you can, party hardy, be brave and courageous, fight, run for the hills… but whatever it is, do it without fail because your life depends on it. These architects are trapped in a tornado of life and death necessity and survival.
And did I mention that they are stubborn? These architects mean business; not only are they single-mindedly focused on their life or death mission, they too are trapped in a time capsule similar to the astronauts. They use whatever resources they had available to them at the time they came into being in that threatening and hurtful moment. So if my client was four years old, then this very powerful little architect is doing whatever they can with whatever tools are available to them, all at the service of preserving the integrity – or the very life – of the client. If all they can do is cry, then so be it. If that gets them the care and attention they need, then so be it. If they are seven and the only way they can be cared for is to be sick, then so be it. They get sick. It worked that time and has many times since. And it’s going to “work” ad infinitum for as long as they don’t realize they can do more than ensure survival – they can participate in living and thriving. These architects are hooked into the adversity that created them, so it follows that for as long as the client implements their brilliant strategies and directives, they too remain hooked into the narrative of powerlessness and despair.
The strategies used by the architects don’t necessarily ruin our lives, though. It’s one thing to look at an addiction to a prescription or street drug and think: “Hmmm not so good in the long run”, or to acknowledge that we get sick to get loved: “Hmmm not so good in the long run”… But to think that being brave, courageous or very productive is “not so good in the long run” is quite an unexpected stretch. The key is to understand that bravery generally hinges on adversity to overcome; courage presupposes the presence of threat or fear; and super-productivity often implies that we are worthless without our achievements. In other words, these seemingly positive energies are hooked into the underbelly of pain and unlove.
To heal these architects of survival, the client also needs to compassionately acknowledge, love and celebrate their achievements and strategies without judgment. So often, these architects have been accused of being self-destructive when in fact, it’s quite the opposite; they have succeeded in helping us survive. There is no point judging them for not letting us live and thrive. That wasn’t their job. The key is to accept and honour them – and show them some gratitude – as we draw them into the heart chakra, along with the victimized astronauts, so they too can rest in the five star love vibes. It’s love 24/7 that is needed; this is a rather daunting task but a powerful yes to the process of life, living and thriving.
Join me in workshops or private sessions to encounter and integrate these parts of yourself – and to ride the wave of transformation.